How well do you know the person staring back at you in the mirror?
I know that for myself sometimes I think I know her better then anyone; but there are days that I look into her dark eyes and don't know what the hell she is thinking.
Tuesday, March 3, 2015
The Mirror
How well do you know the person staring back at you in the mirror?
I know that for myself sometimes I think I know her better then anyone; but there are days that I look into her dark eyes and don't know what the hell she is thinking.
Invisible
The days go by and no one sees you.
No one’s eyes meet yours;
you melt into the surroundings, not dazzling enough to be noticed.
Bumping into people, net never being felt or needed.
invisible
longing to be noticed
aching for acceptance
needing to be seen
invisible
When does enough become enough?
When do you demand to be seen?
When do you scream:
"I'M HERE, DON'T YOU SEE ME!?
invisible
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
I am free
I watched Dark
Black Sky welcome his brother Indigo
Swirling
above my head giving me a kiss of their grace.
All the
while Mother Earth hugged me and comforted me with her flowing wind.
Slowly I
watched Dark Black Sky and his brother Indigo walk further away as Mother Earth
sat closer to me embracing me
once again.
I am free.
Monday, January 16, 2012
Thursday, January 12, 2012
The List
Been having a pretty rough few weeks (I think it is 100% hormonal) and having a grand ol’time beating myself up every day, followed by horrific dreams at night. After having a lengthy conversation via morning coffee in bed and revealing text messages at work, the hubby gave me an assignment.
List all the aspects of you that you don’t like and look at them objectively without judgment and try to prove them as having no real basis. Then find gratitude for the aspects that really serve you
CAUTION!!! This assignment is MUCH, MUCH harder then it seems. I made my list of dislikes in about 5 minutes, struggled over my list of things I appreciate about myself for THREE HOURS!!!
My list was not pretty, and it left me feeling much more vulnerable and raw then I had expected BUT it was therapeutic for me to write them out and look at them. It was therapeutic for me to look at them and tell them “OK now prove that you are real.” MOST of them (9 of 12) I realized had no proof other then my own perception…perception not proof (the other 3 I am sure my hubby is willing to argue with me are also perception).
So what did I come up with? I think it’s time to work on my jaded perception of myself. I have gone over my list over and over today and can say with 75% certainty that 4 of my 12 are no longer on the list.
Try it.
Friday, July 29, 2011
Charlotte, named after the children book
Have you ever laid eyes on someone and the world stopped? I have.
Her name is Charlotte (like the spider, her mother was a fan) and she is my world. She is tall and sexy, her body is as curvy as a mountainous road and her eyes are as dark as the night sky. She has a perfect olive complexion and sweet dimples. She is beautiful. I love to listen to her talk about her ideas and thoughts; I adore hearing her laugh and giggle. She has the sweetest smelling hair, the color of a winter sunset, splashes of gold, red and orange and the softest most irresistible skin.
She is always so busy running a mile a minute but when she finally sits to relax and falls asleep she has the cutest snore, she breathes deeply and steadily. I focus on her breathing every night as I sit next to her I easily fall into a meditative state. I hear her stir, how long have I been in? I look to my watch 4:30 am, she will be getting up soon to go to the gym.
I get up from the soft green wing back chair in her bedroom, walk over to the closet and open the faux wall I made when she moved in next door to me. A perk of being the left in charge of this building.
Oh did I fail to mention, Charlotte, named after the children book, has never met me.
Her name is Charlotte (like the spider, her mother was a fan) and she is my world. She is tall and sexy, her body is as curvy as a mountainous road and her eyes are as dark as the night sky. She has a perfect olive complexion and sweet dimples. She is beautiful. I love to listen to her talk about her ideas and thoughts; I adore hearing her laugh and giggle. She has the sweetest smelling hair, the color of a winter sunset, splashes of gold, red and orange and the softest most irresistible skin.
She is always so busy running a mile a minute but when she finally sits to relax and falls asleep she has the cutest snore, she breathes deeply and steadily. I focus on her breathing every night as I sit next to her I easily fall into a meditative state. I hear her stir, how long have I been in? I look to my watch 4:30 am, she will be getting up soon to go to the gym.
I get up from the soft green wing back chair in her bedroom, walk over to the closet and open the faux wall I made when she moved in next door to me. A perk of being the left in charge of this building.
Oh did I fail to mention, Charlotte, named after the children book, has never met me.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
I’m here.
Ever have one of those moments?
You have been headed towards a goal, some huge destination and you have been so busy trying to get there that you never look up until you bang into the sign that says “YOU ARE HERE”.
I had that moment the other night. I have been looking forward to this specific event in my life to take place but I was so busy jumping through hurdles and climbing through hoops of fire to get there that I was so distracted that I almost lost the pleasure of basking in it when it happened. Ok so I didn’t bask in it (when it happened) because I was so pissed off about those fire hoops and hurdles that fat girls have a hard time conquering.
A few nights after said event occurred it hit me like a ton of bricks and I said “Wow Deborah, I’m here.”
Life happens and sometimes it takes up so much of our time and day that we forget to stop and enjoy our accomplishments.
Stop what you are doing and look around you, where are you? I bet 9 out of 10 times you are close to the destination you set out to be a year ago or even a month ago. It’s always seems easier to notice what we have not done or accomplished then it is to stop and look around at what we have. I can write a novel about all of the things I think are wrong with me but would have a really big problem telling you the things I think are great about me.
Ok so I am veering off from my point.
Have you stopped to look at you map and appreciate how far you have gone and how close you are to your destination?
You have been headed towards a goal, some huge destination and you have been so busy trying to get there that you never look up until you bang into the sign that says “YOU ARE HERE”.
I had that moment the other night. I have been looking forward to this specific event in my life to take place but I was so busy jumping through hurdles and climbing through hoops of fire to get there that I was so distracted that I almost lost the pleasure of basking in it when it happened. Ok so I didn’t bask in it (when it happened) because I was so pissed off about those fire hoops and hurdles that fat girls have a hard time conquering.
A few nights after said event occurred it hit me like a ton of bricks and I said “Wow Deborah, I’m here.”
Life happens and sometimes it takes up so much of our time and day that we forget to stop and enjoy our accomplishments.
Stop what you are doing and look around you, where are you? I bet 9 out of 10 times you are close to the destination you set out to be a year ago or even a month ago. It’s always seems easier to notice what we have not done or accomplished then it is to stop and look around at what we have. I can write a novel about all of the things I think are wrong with me but would have a really big problem telling you the things I think are great about me.
Ok so I am veering off from my point.
Have you stopped to look at you map and appreciate how far you have gone and how close you are to your destination?
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